Keeping Campus Clean

Sometimes when I attempt to explain my job, I throw in "Yeah, I'm a 24 year old with a 10:00 curfew" just for the shock value. Truthfully, the only times I make it out of my 170+ room mansion after that time (midnight on weekends) are when it's my day off, someone has to go to the hospital, or I desperately need something from Walmart (for example, Eggo waffles or DiGiorno pizza...the grocery stores all close by 10:00 during the week.)

Because my nights off are Tuesday and Saturday, the days of Thirsty Thursday are luxuries of my collegiate past--luxuries I rarely took advantage of, might I add. Once a month, however, my boss allows me to take up to 14 of my senior girls out on the town for what we have come to know and love as Senior Sneakout.

Senior Sneakout is typically a Thursday night adventure to one of the few locations in our town that has a dining room open after 10:00 pm. (We tried to go to Wendy's once and ended up having to take the short bus through the drive thru because the lobby was closed...no lie.) On a tame night, six of my students join me for a Fourth Meal at Taco Bell and de-stress from college searches; other times, a dozen girls and I roll up to Raising Cane's to celebrate One Love and look at the cute fraternity men who are enjoying some combination of the four (five if you count the sauce) menu offerings at Cane's. Having absolutely no shame about the fact that we rolled up in a yellow short bus, we spend the next half hour or so enjoying all of the chicken tenders and eye candy we can take in.

For the first Sneakout of 2013, there was some disagreement about where we would go: McDonald's, KFC, or Raising Cane's? One argument against KFC (from the same protagonist as my wet quarters and three backpacks entries) was, "KFC is for fat white people!" I insisted that KFC closed at 10:00 anyway, but I was assured by several students that I was incorrect. Fortunately for everyone, I took an elective in graduate school about conflict management and used my knowledge to come up with a plan people could go for: I would drop off the McDonald's and KFC people at McDonald's, take everyone else to Cane's, and come back for the McDonald's/KFC people. Sacrificing the hilarious conversations we often have at Senior Sneakouts, as well as the opportunity to check out the college crowd, we embarked on our adventure into the big city.

When we pulled into McDonald's, only two girls (out of eight on tonight's adventure) got off the bus.  As she left, one girl commented, "Y'all, getting off the short bus at McDonald's is embarrassing." The crowd on the bus watched as the girls tried desperately to get their hands on some "fat white people" food before hanging their heads and walking to McDonald's...but apparently that's not as embarrassing as arriving at McDonald's in a short bus.

Rolling up at Raising Cane's with a surplus of short bus swag, we were somewhat surprised to find a packed parking lot, including what looked like a police officer giving some girls a ticket. For once in my life, I managed to fit the short bus into one parking space and park the bus straight. (I am only slightly exaggerating about how often I manage to accomplish this feat; usually, I nail the "one space per vehicle" thing but struggle with parking straight.)

Inside, we found a sea of purple and orange-clad Demon supporters after the Lady Demons apparently forked Nicholls State University in basketball this evening. (Despite living on campus, this was news to us.) More conspicuous than ever in our non-Demon colors, we waited patiently to place our orders and try to scam on whatever discount the college kids were getting for shouting "Fork 'Em!" at a basketball game and liking chicken. (I love my alma mater and her bear mascot, but "Fork 'Em" is a close second to "Go Bears!" on my list of awesome things to shout at a sports event.) Our lack of university IDs made getting the "Buy One, Get One Free"  deal more challenging to obtain than we anticipated, but we managed to leave with delicious food (or in my "on a break from fast food" case, just a cup of sweet tea) in hand and smiles on our faces.

After we picked up our McDonald's comrades and explained why we were at Cane's for so long (hungry college students who just watched the Demons fork the Colonels) discussion ensued about getting discounts in town with university IDs. From the driver's seat, I piped up, "We should really just start collecting IDs people drop on campus. Then, when someone questions me and suggests I am not the black man in the picture, I can be outraged!"

From the back of the bus, I heard, "Kim. What you just told us is that if we randomly pick up an ID on campus, it's going to be a black man's. That's assuming a lot. Also, you just told us to use someone else's ID to get things. That's a felony. What kind of example is that?"

Despite knowing I once used Facebook to track down someone who lost his wallet in front of our building and return it within just a few minutes, all I could come up with on the fly was, "I was just suggesting you pick up IDs on the ground to keep the campus clean!" (There's a reason I am not a lawyer. Actually, there are many.)

Since I have 19 seniors on my floor this semester, I know Senior Sneakouts are only going to get more interesting as time goes on and the vicious epidemic known as Senioritis progresses. Until then, I am going to do my best to not advise my students to commit felonies.